Stop Being Perfect – Your Danish Will Thank You!
Piece by: Daniela Hummelgren
Picture of Diana with her professional title
Are you a recovering perfectionist when it comes to language learning? If you grew up in a school system that loved counting red pen marks more than celebrating your progress, you're probably nodding right now. Learning Danish as an adult can feel terrifying when you're used to expecting perfection from yourself. But here's the thing- perfection is overrated, and Denmark has some refreshing news for you.
Welcome to Denmark, Where Mistakes Are No Big Deal
Denmark operates on a completely different wavelength. Instead of obsessing over what you can't do, people here are genuinely curious about what you can do. Made a mistake? No problem! Say "Oops," learn from it, and keep going. Even major workplace blunders might only cost you a cake for the office.
But let's be real- this sounds too good to be true when you're sitting in Danish classes with teachers circling your errors in red, stressed about passing that notorious PD3 exam. The contradiction became clear to me when I took Second Language Pedagogy at the University of Copenhagen. When some teachers from language schools were discussing how Danish education prioritizes the learning journey over results —focusing on how students feel rather than perfect outcomes— I had to laugh. "That's lovely," I said. "But nobody's asking about my learning journey when I take the PD3!"
They admitted the obvious: there's definitely a disconnect between Denmark's general educational philosophy and the pressure-cooker reality facing international residents. While Danish schools emphasize social connection and student wellbeing, believing that happy learners naturally absorb more than stressed ones do, internationals are stuck navigating a system that demands measurable results with as few errors as possible.
My "Aha!" Moment
This cultural difference really hit home when my daughter brought back some Danish homework. As I was helping her, I spotted two glaring grammar mistakes in some worksheets her teacher had probably sourced online. My inner Czech perfectionist was horrified. Grammar errors in teaching worksheets? Unthinkable!
I marched over to my Danish husband, ready to rant. He confirmed they were indeed mistakes, but his response? A casual shoulder shrug and "Well, mistakes happen." That's it. No drama, no judgment, just acceptance that humans make errors sometimes.
That moment was like a lightbulb going off. In Denmark, making mistakes doesn't make you stupid or lazy. People genuinely don't get worked up about errors the way many other cultures do.
Your Mistake-Making Toolkit
Before you dive into conversations, arm yourself with these handy Danish phrases for when things go sideways:
"Undskyld, jeg sagde det forkert, jeg mener..." (Sorry, I said that wrong, I mean...)
"Jeg vil gerne tage det på dansk. Jeg laver sikkert fejl, men det er ok." (I'd like to do this in Danish. I'll probably make mistakes, but that's okay.)
"Giv mig et øjeblik. Jeg kan godt forklare det på en anden måde." (Give me a second. I can explain it a different way.)
These little phrases are magic because they do two important things: they normalize mistakes so they don't feel like failure, and they invite Danes to stay in Danish rather than immediately switching to English to "help" you.
Time to Set Yourself Free
So here's your permission slip: go out there and butcher some Danish! Make gloriously imperfect sentences. Mix up your word order. Forget whether it's "en" or "et" for the hundredth time. When you mess up (and you will), just say "Oops, my mistake" and keep the conversation rolling.
I know it is not easy. I've been there myself. I still cannot forget how I once completely misunderstood what my Danish in-laws were discussing and jumped in with a comment that was... well, let's just say it was memorably embarrassing. Do they still remember? Of course not! They could see what happened, switched the topic, and forgot it before the evening was over!
The Happy Ending
Remember, you are absolutely your own harshest critic. That little voice in your head pointing out every imperfection? It's way meaner than any Danish person you'll ever meet.
Embrace the mess, enjoy the journey, and remember: in Denmark, your effort and enthusiasm matter infinitely more than getting every grammar rule right on the first try. Happy learning!
Meet Daniela Hummelgren
Daniela Hummelgren is a Danish language teacher and coach who helps internationals move from classroom learning to real-life conversations. Having learned Danish herself as a second language, she now helps others tackle the same challenges. She specialises in guiding learners beyond PD3 so they can feel comfortable speaking Danish at work, with friends, and in everyday life.
Find out more her Danish lessons here: www.danielahummelgren.dk
Connect with her here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielahummelgren/
